Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Dear Asshole Who Drives With the Gas and Brake Simultaneously,

When your brake lights are on the entire time you are in front of me, how am I supposed to know when you are slowing down, or about to make a sudden stop for that mother effing squirrel? I hope you appreciate just how close you came to getting an unscheduled rectal exam with the business end of a Honda Pilot. Please send me the name and address of your driver's ed instructor. I'd love to find him, drag him out of his house, into the street, and beat him to death with an orange parking cone and thank him or her for doing such a wonderful job educating you about the wonders of the highway.



  1. Your blog cracks me up - look forward to more.

  2. I seriously have no patience for other people on the road. And neither do my kids.

  3. The ones who cross three lanes of traffic to turn right are on my 'to shoot' list.

  4. Love the post! It's much safer than really road raging, too.


Go ahead, validate me. You know you want to, you enabler.