Dear Asshole Who Drives With the Gas and Brake Simultaneously,
When your brake lights are on the entire time you are in front of me, how am I supposed to know when you are slowing down, or about to make a sudden stop for that mother effing squirrel? I hope you appreciate just how close you came to getting an unscheduled rectal exam with the business end of a Honda Pilot. Please send me the name and address of your driver's ed instructor. I'd love to find him, drag him out of his house, into the street, and beat him to death with an orange parking cone and thank him or her for doing such a wonderful job educating you about the wonders of the highway.